i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
