just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
