I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
