you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
