How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
