would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
