Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
