We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
