He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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