are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
