I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
