i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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