It's Friday. Sex?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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