Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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