Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
