So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
