Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
