oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
