No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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