It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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