i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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