I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
