the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You ruined the universe
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
