In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
