I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
