my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
