Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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