So drunk, too bad you don't want this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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