Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
