you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
