I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
