Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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