I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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