Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
