yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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