He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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