Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
