Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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