You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
