You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
