You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
