You just made me feel so damn special
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
