TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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