He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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