I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can text with my tongue
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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