we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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