Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
