Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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