How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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