I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
