So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
